Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Ah, young love... It makes me sick!!!

When will the British Media's love affair with Lewis 'Golden Boy' Hamilton ever bloody end!?

ITV are the worst offenders, during any interview with Lewis (which tends to be at least 3 times in any one programme) Steve 'Weird Face' Ryder stares captivated into the young rookies eyes like a pre-pubecent teen who harbors a secret crush on his 1st yr english supply teacher!

Steve Rider: As you were waiting for the verdict, what was the tension like because it was a close-run thing whether the drivers’ points were going to be lost or not?

TRANSLATES AS: Please dont be angry the nasty FIA may not realise you are the Messiah but here at ITV we understand your greatness and offer ourselves forward as your humble servants, admittedly, James Allen is a bit of a cock but even he drools in your general direction... Did i mention i want your babies?

LH: It was.

Translates as...

Thanks for stating the obvious underling, i am fully aware of my greatness. Yes James Allen is a cock, and your point is?

My babies? I wouldn't trust you to carry my excrement around in a sock! Your quiff is rather fetching though, attractive in a slightly wrong way. Now quiet and finish polishing my shoes.

I got back here [Spa], I think it was a two o’clock meeting with my engineer, we were walking the track and I had a call to say that this is what they have said in the press.

What he's saying is...

I'd just got the second coat of paint applied to my synthetic hair and was waiting for the laser to warm up so i could re-whiten my teeth. Suddenly one of my servants stumbled into my quarters clutching the Hamilton Hotline, platinum plated of course.

So you can imagine my heart just dropped and [to] see that all the work that the team have done, that I have put in this season, it was going to be taken away from me.

In Lewis speak...

So you can imagine, i was filled with pure rage and all the work i have done and all the effort i put into carrying the team and operating my puppet Ronny. Mind control on this level takes a lot of concentration. How dare the FIA even consider taking anything away from me, after all i am f1!

Fortunately, I didn’t have my points taken away from me and I think we were really lucky with that, so I am going to do the best job I can and just keep on pushing [for the title].

What he mean to say was...

Lucky for them, the fia saw sense and realised without me there is no F1, in the eyes of the true fans at least. Plus i'm sure the threat of unleashing a plague of locusts did no harm to the outcome. Yes, we cheated, but thats not important, what is important is that i am lewis hamilton, i am the incarnation of this sport and i am now able to continue milking this cash cow of every last bitter drop, like a young boy who's just discovered his dads porno stash and the joys of masturbation for the first time. Did i mention i have a book coming out? Its 'Lewis Hamilton: The Messiah has Come!' available everywhere ever...

Nice idea, but a bit gay...

Looks fantastic but would you really be able to live with yourself when you know full well your 'ferrari' only has an MR2 under the bonnet?!

Thought not...

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Winnebago Man

swearing has never been cooler. This guy has it down to a fine art... turn it up, sit back and enjoy :)

Alonso doesn't believe in God...

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...which according to the latest 'press' statements means his team mate doesn't exist?

When will this needless shite stop, all you hear now is 'lewis this, lewis that, he's like god except he's black'. Please make it go away!!!

Now don't get me wrong, i have nothing against Mr Hamilton, quite the opposite, what he has achieved is remarkable, but the way ITV have turned their F1 coverage into the Lewis Hamilton Show is completely ridiculous! I worshipped Schuey but i still accepted that F1 is a sport (i now use that term loosely) and is watched by many people.

Apparently though, ITV doesn't see it like that, Lewis is british and therefore the world should bow down at his perfectly formed little feet. They ram programme after programme down our still sore from lat time throats, lewis is senna, lewis is ghandi, lewis is the man on the moon, lewis and the races he might win in the future, and not forgetting The James Allen Story: I want to marry lewis and allow him to abuse my anal passage.

This needs to stop, the higher they build the poor guy up the harder he will fall, and lets face it, being a brit sports star there is a damn good chance he will fall, like a drunk stumbling off a kerb straight into the path of an oncoming bus, over-flowing with hungry members of the mindless british press, ready to capture every last detail of his impending vehicular doom.

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Before i go insane with this rant let me just add one more point...
Kimi has turned out to be utter crap, 50 million dollars pissed up the wall of ferraris history steeped garages. Please Mr Todt if you read this, or one of your friends, or a friend of a friend who might meet you in a bar... Get Schuey back at all costs and win some races, he retired too early anyway, just look at the drive he gave in brazil. He's had time out, his appetite will be refreshed so get him back in a damn car and soon!!!!

Right, rant over, thanks for listening, you've been a lovely audience.

I will be back soon as it has been suggested i start to cover the grand prix that we have left, so i will oblige and give it a go...

Fonejacker 04 - Monies

funny doesnt do this damn thing justice...

Trouble brewing for Mclaren

Cake row rocks Macca

McLaren are at the centre of a new favouritism row after an incident in an Indianapolis restaurant last night.

The team had popped out to the city's top German bistro Schadenfreude’s for a group meal ahead of this weekend’s US Grand Prix.

All had been going well until a member of Fernando Alonso’s entourage noticed that a waitress had given Lewis Hamilton a second slice of battenberg cake, resulting in the Spanish side of the table levelling a claim of special treatment towards the British rookie.

Our source said: “I think this is just being taken out of context. McLaren have had, and will continue to have, a policy of making sure each driver gets the same amount of cake, and it will be no different with Lewis and Fernando.”

However, the incident had echoes of a similar fuss during the great Alain Prost-Ayrton Senna feud of 1989, when the Frenchman ate the last chocolate ├ęclair at the San Marino Grand Prix.

Hayabusa Turbo Mk1 Golf!!!

VW Golf Mk1 With A 350Hp Suzuki Hayabusa Engine!

Are these guys’ nuts or what? Work of UK based H.R. Engineering that specializes in converting front wheel drive cars to rear wheel drive with any engine option, the heavily modified VW Golf Mk1 has been blessed with a 350bhp turbocharged, 1.3-liter motorbike engine from the Suzuki Hayabusa driving the rear wheels. It's not the first time we've seen something like this as some of you might remember the Smart Fortwo Diablo with the 180Hp Suzuki GSX-R 1000 motor. As you’ll hear for yourself in the videos that we added, if anything, the modified Golf sounds pretty damn sick.

Hayabusa Turbo Mk1 Golf!!!

All cars should sound like this!

Thursday, April 26, 2007

The PS3... saving mankind... literally...

PS3 boosts protein research plan
Screen shot of PS3 folding program, Sony
The program simulates how proteins assume their shape
Attempts to understand diseases such as Alzheimers have got a boost from Sony's PlayStation 3 console.

More than 250,000 PS3 owners have enrolled their console in the Folding@Home project which uses it to study the shapes proteins assume.

So many have signed up that the project has carried out a year's worth of research in a month.

Proteins that do not fold correctly have been implicated in diseases such as Alzheimers and BSE.

Speedy science

The Folding@Home (F@H) project uses idle machines, be they PCs or game consoles, to simulate how proteins, the building blocks of life, assume the forms that play key roles in living tissue.

A better understanding of these folded forms could help tackle disease or help manipulate or mimic these vital structures.

The project, like many others, tries to solve hugely complicated problems by splitting them up into thousands of much smaller tasks.

By harnessing thousands of idle machines to do hundreds of thousands of these smaller tasks it becomes possible to do analysis that would take years to complete on a single supercomputer.

"Thanks to PS3, we have performed simulations in the first few weeks that would normally take us more than a year to calculate," said Vijay Pande, Associate Professor of Chemistry at Stanford University and leader of the Folding@Home project.

Sony signed up to F@H in March and those that have downloaded the program have, at their busiest, racked up a total computing power of more than 700 teraflops. The average computational power delivered by these users is about 400 teraflops.

By comparison BlueGene L, which tops the list of most powerful supercomputers, has a top speed of 280.6 teraflops.

Sony said an update to the F@H PS3 program would boost speeds and make it easier to see who else was participating.

Feature: I Am 8-Bit - Kotaku

Some awesome artwork by various artist, based on the wonderous 8-bit era.


Feature: I Am 8-Bit - Kotaku

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Think your clever? Think again...

university entrance tests.

The UK's Royal Society of Chemistry is offering a £500 prize to one lucky but bright person who answers the question below correctly.

Anyone wishing to enter the competition should go to the RSC website and send the correct answer by Friday 27 April to be included in a prize draw.

Chinese maths test

English maths test

The PS3 Fights back... slowly...

Hitman, Conflict Teams Bring Games to PS3

Kane & Lynch: Dead Men and Crossfire go the other way.

View & Post comments on this article

Sony has taken flack in recent months for losing exclusives, as games such as Assassin's Creed and Virtua Fighter 5 found additional homes on the Xbox 360. Now it's going the other way, with Eidos parent SCi revealing that two of its Xbox 360 games are headed to Sony's console.

Hitman developer IO Interactive's next game, Kane & Lynch: Dead Men (developer interview here), previously exclusive to PC and Xbox 360, will now be coming to PlayStation 3 as well. All three versions are due before Christmas.

The company has also delayed and expanded the release of Crossfire, a co-op first-person shooter by Conflict series developer Pivotal Games steeped in the black-ops world of international relations.

Crossfire had previously been announced as an Xbox 360 and PC title. Now it'll be out on PlayStation 3 too, though the trio will only be in stores in early 2008 and not this year as originally planned.

The company says the PlayStation 3 versions of both games are in "advanced stages of development".

The move is motivated by the SCi board's belief that the PlayStation 3 will reach "critical mass" during 2008. The company is also looking make the most of its marketing campaigns, releasing the games simultaneously on the three platforms.

How time flies...

It's been a while folks, sorry i've kept you waiting for any form of decent content.

Work has been one continual busy cycle, hopefully the loop will soon break be it naturally or artificially, either way i'm gonna make some time.

I'll be back soon, just getting my shit together then i promise i will start filling this webspace with some more opinions - all soley mine, some more extreme than others and i will also trawl the web for some more candy coated goodness to feast your greedy eyes upon.

Soon my friends, soon.

Mr Beast

Design in Film to Game Crossovers -

Design in Film to Game Crossovers -